The Rivalry of Sebastian and Thorntonius

As unto the skin of the mythic Porcupyn didst Fair Sebastian’s body resemble after Caesar’s Archers Martyred him.

Unto his side rushed the Widow of St. Castullus. And not without Feeling didst her Womanly Gaze inspect his Person.

And in the Mouth of Good Thorntonius didst arise the taste of Gall and Vinegar. Yea though he had once Cleansed the Woman of her Sin, now he Saw that Woman, Serpent, and Apple seemed poised to Meet once more.

And so he came unto them, with Noggin Nails and also those used to Pinion him upon his Cross.

Patiently he waited his Turn with the Widow, though Truth be Told, so as to let her know his Mind, a steady Moaning issued from his Pious Mouth. The Moaning soon increased to Howling as the Widow didst inspect Sebastian’s Groyn for Wounds upon which she annointeth with Unguent.

Gently didst she rub his swollen Parts and louder still didst Thorntonius’ cries become.

At last Fair Sebastian looketh at the Widow and gaspeth, “It is finshed.”

She smiled sweetly at him then turned her not so Gentle gaze at Shrieking Thorntonius. With much Efficiency but not so much Tender Succour as he might wish didst the Widow wrench out Thorntonius’ Nails, both Noggin and Pinion.

Stoppeth thine Keening, Thorntonius, the Widow didst declaim. No man owneth me, only the Lord God.

And the taste of Vinegar and Gall left him. He said: Woman, I am well pleased. Now let us away to do our Work.

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