Marriage and human sexuality are exceedingly important themes as far as God is concerned and the regulation of these areas is dealt with extensively in the Good Book. If there is one overarching concept here it is the importance of preserving and passing on the seed of the Biblical patriarchs.

God seems to give a pass to almost any coital bond as long as three conditions are met: 1. the act should be of a heterosexual persuasion 2. it should have at least the potential for procreation 3. the female should never partner with an Egyptian, Hittite, or other auslander. Thus we have some interesting examples of acceptable and unacceptable patterns of behavior. Here are some examples from Genesis:

Unacceptable: The mob of men trying to have sex with the male angels who are visiting Lot in Sodom.

Acceptable: Lot offering up his married daughters to be raped by this same mob.

Unacceptable: Noah’s son seeing his father’s naked penis.

Acceptable: Lot’s daughters having sexual intercourse with their father.

Unacceptable: Judah’s son Onan ejaculating on the ground instead of inside his sister-in-law Tamar, to avoid impregnating his dead brother’s widow.

Acceptable: Judah having sex with his daughter-in-law Tamar, mistaking her for a harlot, and impregnating her with twins.

Unacceptable: The Egyptian Pharoah, tricked by Abram into believing Sarai is Abram’s sister and not his wife, feeling sexual desire for her.

Acceptable: Abram pimping out his wife Sarai to the Egyptian Pharoah in order to gain great wealth.

Unacceptable: Jacob’s daughter Dinah having sex with one Hivite man.

Acceptable: Jacob having sex with four different women, his two wives and their handmaidens.

It might seem that these rules are a bit arbitrary by today’s standards. In light of the current problems we are facing regarding overpopulation, might it not be time for God to reevaluate His rules? Perhaps homosexuality and “onanism”, properly and safely practiced, might be of enormous benefit to mankind.